This day and age, it is so cliche to say that a person should do whatever makes them happy. You hear it everyday from almost every medium and it is starting to drive me crazy. It is driving me crazy because I think it is a categorically false statement. Even worse than this are the people who say why can't you just be happy for me. All of these statements are well intended. After all, we all can and should strive to be happy. This post is not about wanting people to be miserable. Quite the contrary. My family wants to bring joy to your life and we in no ways want to cause pain. That being said, the statements about happiness I am frustrated with are just messages that should cease to exist. After reading this, I hope that you will agree with me.
The main reason those statements are false is that they seem to be an excuse for whatever bad decisions a person wishes to make. I actually had a person insult my entire family, tell me I didn't know what I was doing as a parent and then still say "why can't you just be happy for me." I'm sorry, but if my family is treated poorly I cannot just be happy for you and support how you are treating us. I can be happy that you found happiness, but I cannot accept your behavior or agree with it because it makes you happy. To be more specific, I will bring up several examples of times where the right thing trumps being happy. I will also include instances that people think will make them happy that actually brings them a great deal of pain.
Obviously, a mentally disturbed person wanting to kill a person claiming "why can't you just be happy for me" seems outrageously absurd. However, I am sure there are actually people like this. Some people claim that they want to kill their boss, a cheating spouse, some other person that has wronged them. They just want their revenge and want someone gone. While most of us can't fathom this behavior or thinking, it happens. Just being happy cannot and will not ever be an excuse for this. Sure, this is an extreme example, but it goes to show the idiocy of the statement. There are plenty of other instances in which the just be happy mantra fails...
To go along further with the law, let's talk about stealing. If someone has something that you want, you cannot just take it from them. If you take something from someone or force them to share that is theft. Theft is a crime and it is wrong. You can want it, taking it may make you happy, but you just cannot do it. Stealing is wrong and it doesn't matter if said item will make you happy, it just can't be done. Sure, major crimes like murder, theft, rape, and battery might be extreme examples, but they just show the issues with the original statement. The just be happy for me movement uses this phrase as a means to justify their horrible decisions and it is just wrong. It doesn't have to be a major crime either....
Not taking responsibility for your kids so you can be "happy" is wrong. Never taking care of them and caring more about yourself than your kids is not okay. You see when you have kids your focus needs to shift to helping them become positive hardworking citizens as adults. It needs to shift towards their happiness. Neglecting them and going out partying every night is not doing that. Cheating on your spouse is not doing that. God forbid it doesn't work out with your partner don't completely shut the kids out. They are still your kids. It is not your kids fault. You must always remember your kids. Forgetting about them will ultimately leave you feeling empty inside. The kids are your responsibility from conception until natural death.
Notice how I said from conception. It is important to know that your rights end where mine begin. Well the unborn baby has rights too. They might not have entered the world, but they are living beings. They have heartbeats. The fetus is still our responsibility as parents. Intentionally ending their life or any life is wrong. Abortion is wrong. Your future and your happiness are not a means to end that life. Ending that life will make you feel a whole lot worse than you do currently. While the baby will bring you joy. The decision to end an innocent person's life is not a burden you want to carry and not a choice any person should ever want to make.
To go further, most of us would rather spend time with our families and could find something more enjoyable than work. I quite like my job, but it doesn't compare to family time for me. However, none of us can just skip work everyday in order to chase our happiness of being with family all day or doing other things that will make us happier. We have to have responsibility. We have to pay the bills. We have to do what is right which isn't always what will make us happiest.
Now, we should still aim to be happy. You cannot go through life feeling miserable and alone. Every person has the right to be happy. I do not disagree. My argument is that your happiness should not come at the expense of someone else. Your happiness needs to come from finding a job you are passionate in and being a great person along the way. Being a Godly person. Everything in this world is fleeting and you will only want more and more. By that I mean that everything on Earth is finite, so it is difficult to put everything into finite things. The only thing that is infinite is God. You have to give it up to God for true eternal happiness.
So, I will never say "do what makes you happy" if someone asks me for advice. Instead, I will say, find some line of work that you can do and live comfortable on, treat others the way you want to be treated, and try to be the best at everything you do. I also aim to be a positive example of God's love and tell people about God when they seek it out of me. Hopefully, others will know I am Christian by how I act and conduct myself and more and more people will come into the church to seek that eternal happiness. "For they will know we are Christians by our love." Love others, trust God, respect life, respect law, and then you will be happy. Don't just blindly chase happiness, because what you want isn't always what you need.
-Noland
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