Pep Talk to Myself

Honestly, I get inspired to write when I need to give myself a pep talk. So this is my pep talk to myself & for anyone else who needs a pep talk on this lovely Monday.
Lately, my family and I have had a lot of changes happening. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, we moved. On top of the move, I've been applying to jobs. Today, I'm happy to share that I finally got an entry level social work position. Woohoo!
Thankful, thankful is what I should feel. I should be glad that I'm finally able to show what I have to the professional working world. I finally have a professional job to put on my resume and an opportunity to learn and grow in my profession of choice. I can help others. And last, my family will finally have a second income which gives us the opportunity to start saving towards a home or paying towards student loans. But, this blog is a place of honesty... And for some reason, in the past few weeks, I have had so many other thoughts and worries circling in my head like: how is this going to work? What if I don't like the position? Will my son adjust back to the daycare schedule? How am I going to pick him up in time so that he is not the last one to be picked up every day? Am I a bad mom because I'm going to work? Will I be able to get off all the holidays? How am I going to keep our house clean and home cooked dinner on the table every night? Will it be worth the extra money? And so much more.

I get stuck on these thoughts. Stuck, thinking the worst possible scenario in my head. I like to talk thoughts out loud so my husband has heard all my deepest fears, about being a working mom and wife, spoken out loud on a daily basis for the past few weeks. Luckily, he is patient and reassuring that it will all work out. And I ,too, know it always does but I have chosen to wallow in these worries. Keyword: chosen

The internet has a vast amount of inspirational writers. And I've been reading a lot of different inspirational blog posts lately about thoughts. It all brings me back to the truth of the fact that we are in control of our thoughts. Did you get that? Let me say it one more time, loud and clear: I CONTROL MY OWN THOUGHTS. And just incase you don't know.. You control your own thoughts, too!

This means that if I am thinking the worst scenario possible, than I am doing this to myself. It's not the world, my friends or family, it's me. That's sound like I'm dumping you.. "It's not you, it's me." And it's the truth. What is it about me? Maybe, it's a sign that I have too much time on my hands, my inner anxiety and insecurities, all coming to the surface. I am not keeping myself busy enough. Instead of focusing on the last month that I have to spend every waking minute of the day with my sweet son, I am thinking about all the unknowns that surround my new job. Well... It has finally come to a point where I am pulling myself out of this hole that has seemed to swallow me into an abyss of negativity. This negativity has affected my attitude, relationships, and overall mood.

I have had to remind myself that I control my own thoughts. I can choose to obsess on whatever thought I want, good or bad. And guess what, the more you think about something, the more it somewhat controls you. Don't you want the good thoughts to be in control? If you are always thinking about something negative, than you are probably going to make negative comments, which only draw others into your negativity. That's not inspiring or encouraging, and certainly, not the person that I want to be. "Oh, she's so negative." Some of the most positive and happy people that I know choose to focus on the blessings rather than the troubles that cross their path. And most of the time, these are the people that have far larger troubles than I. The ones who have lost loved ones, or are suffering from horrible ailments or diseases like cancer..

This reminds me of a talk that Noland and I went to last advent about happiness. Our church had a priest come lead a mission for advent (www.fatherscott.com). He was awesome, engaging, and inspiring. One of the things that he talked about was how, all the time, he hears people say: "Fr. Scott, I'll be happy when..." This really hit home for me. This a thought that crosses my mind from time to time. For me, it's: I'll be happy when I can have another child. I'll be happy when I get a job paying this much. I'll be happy when we can buy a house. I'll be happy when we pay off our student loans. I'll be happy when I am able to buy some new clothes. And the list goes on.
One of the points that Fr. Scott made that really inspired me and helps me to this day: BE HAPPY NOW.

All of those things will most likely happen. Or maybe they won't. But why not CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY NOW. After all, I CONTROL MY OWN THOUGHTS. And I have many things to be thankful for and happy about. I will list a few of them now as a reminder to my self.. Listen up, self!:
As I write this, my 22 month old is giving me kisses and hugs. I have a place to live. I am alive! I have clothes to wear. I have a family that loves me, unconditionally. I was able to spend almost 2 years at home with my son. I am healthy. I have food to eat. I have a computer and technology that not everyone has, like an iPhone. I have great friends that I talk to on a weekly basis. And, I have friends that I haven't talked to in months or years that I know will pick up right where we left off, if I called them right this second. I am a Catholic Christian and I am able to live and practice my faith openly. I have found a job in an economy where not everyone has been so lucky. I live in America and have freedoms that not every person has.

There are so many things to be thankful for. For me, making a list of positives far outweighs my negatives. So self, stop it. Stop thinking negatively and just be happy! Focus on the positives, be thankful for the blessings!

One final thought before I finish this post. I read a quote recently that also helped me: "Someone else is thankful with far less than what you have..." I think this is something beautiful to ponder. If you've ever let your thoughts control you, now is the time to stop! Take control! Be thankful, be happy and love this life you were given!

I'll leave you with a cute picture of Noland and I (NJ was tired) from a few weeks ago:

Now go have a HAPPY Monday.