What's It Like To Be A Parent?

The question I get asked the most would definitely be some form of...how do you enjoy being a parent?

My answer is typically the same....I Love It!

There are not a lot of things that are quite like being a parent, like being a father. Sure, there are coaches, teachers, and bosses that sometimes take on that parent role. Sometimes it is even the older sibling that does it, but that parent relationship goes a step further. As a coach and a teacher I can be like a parent, especially to those that do not have great ones, but it is not quite the same. That is not to discount the work coaches and teachers do, I am both and I don't think there are many higher callings, but parenthood is one.

So why do I love it so much?

Being a parent brings so much more joy into my life. Being able to share everything with my family. Helping them grow. Watching them grow. Being there for them. Seeing them want you to be there for them. Seeing them take after you while developing their own personalities. Seeing them admire you and try to be just like you. Seeing them seek out your approval on everything (I know this comes in a different form when they are older, but it is still there). Helping them to become productive members of society. Helping to lead them to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. A quality teacher or coach can be all of these, but the impact of the parent is amplified especially as the primary educator of the child.

Sure, there are difficult times, as there is with anything in life, we are imperfect beings after all. There are times of disappointment, tantrums, pity parties, poor listening skills, and much more. However, these times are so incredibly outweighed by the good. Those times also allow you to understand what the child still needs to grow. Every good thing in life is amplified to the extreme with kids, and every bad thing in life is put into perspective. It is just amazing.

It is incredible to have some little person want to be amazed and filled with wonder. There is nothing quite like trying to see the world through their eyes. See the world with such anticipation, with such curiosity. These children are so excited to go through the day and so much fun. Seeing places like Disney World are 100x more exciting with kids. Sure, they are fun to do on their own, but so much better with children. You can't even describe the joy that it brings you to see them so happy.

The last thing having a child does for me at least is it helps me to love my family more. It expands my heart. You never knew you could love something like that until you have one of your own. Knowing I created that child with my wife and creating that child makes me love her on a whole different level. My love is amplified for all, but especially my child, my wife, and my parents. I appreciate my parents so much more since I have had kids of my own. Knowing that they were filled with such love really puts everything into perspective. It allows me to see how much they have loved me. Truly, I feel that my parents love me more now than I could have ever dreamed of growing up. All the sacrifices are so much more noticeable and the love is too. It makes me really love and appreciate all people that much more.

We recently welcomed our 2nd child as I shared last week, and some photos are below of our two adorable kids.

 Our fun family of four!

 Baby Eli!

 Parenthood is so much better with an awesome partner by your side.

 My boys love each other

 And their daddy loves them

Ready to take on the world

 Who seriously looks this good after giving birth, I am pretty sure just my wife and the blessed virgin.

 They love sharing life with you

 It's your job to allow them to swing for the fences

While helping them grow.

This whole entry and what it is like being a parent really is perfect for today. That is because today is my mom's birthday. My mother is the hardest working person I have ever met and that sacrifice really helped my sister, my brothers, and I. She is a terrific grandparent and I can only imagine how much joy she was filled with when she saw my brother and I start families of their own. I imagine that is a whole different level of happiness seeing your family expand even more. Love your parents and tell them how much you appreciate them. If you don't have kids of your own, trust me when I say that your parents love and care for you a whole heck of a lot.

Eli Thomas and Noland David, your mom and dad love you more than you will ever know. Well, more than you will know until you have kids of your own at least.

-Noland

No! You Should Not Do Whatever Makes You Happy

This day and age, it is so cliche to say that a person should do whatever makes them happy. You hear it everyday from almost every medium and it is starting to drive me crazy. It is driving me crazy because I think it is a categorically false statement. Even worse than this are the people who say why can't you just be happy for me. All of these statements are well intended. After all, we all can and should strive to be happy. This post is not about wanting people to be miserable. Quite the contrary. My family wants to bring joy to your life and we in no ways want to cause pain. That being said, the statements about happiness I am frustrated with are just messages that should cease to exist. After reading this, I hope that you will agree with me.

The main reason those statements are false is that they seem to be an excuse for whatever bad decisions a person wishes to make. I actually had a person insult my entire family, tell me I didn't know what I was doing as a parent and then still say "why can't you just be happy for me." I'm sorry, but if my family is treated poorly I cannot just be happy for you and support how you are treating us. I can be happy that you found happiness, but I cannot accept your behavior or agree with it because it makes you happy. To be more specific, I will bring up several examples of times where the right thing trumps being happy. I will also include instances that people think will make them happy that actually brings them a great deal of pain.

Obviously, a mentally disturbed person wanting to kill a person claiming "why can't you just be happy for me" seems outrageously absurd. However, I am sure there are actually people like this. Some people claim that they want to kill their boss, a cheating spouse, some other person that has wronged them. They just want their revenge and want someone gone. While most of us can't fathom this behavior or thinking, it happens. Just being happy cannot and will not ever be an excuse for this. Sure, this is an extreme example, but it goes to show the idiocy of the statement. There are plenty of other instances in which the just be happy mantra fails...

To go along further with the law, let's talk about stealing. If someone has something that you want, you cannot just take it from them. If you take something from someone or force them to share that is theft. Theft is a crime and it is wrong. You can want it, taking it may make you happy, but you just cannot do it. Stealing is wrong and it doesn't matter if said item will make you happy, it just can't be done. Sure, major crimes like murder, theft, rape, and battery might be extreme examples, but they just show the issues with the original statement. The just be happy for me movement uses this phrase as a means to justify their horrible decisions and it is just wrong. It doesn't have to be a major crime either....

Not taking responsibility for your kids so you can be "happy" is wrong. Never taking care of them and caring more about yourself than your kids is not okay. You see when you have kids your focus needs to shift to helping them become positive hardworking citizens as adults. It needs to shift towards their happiness. Neglecting them and going out partying every night is not doing that. Cheating on your spouse is not doing that. God forbid it doesn't work out with your partner don't completely shut the kids out. They are still your kids. It is not your kids fault. You must always remember your kids. Forgetting about them will ultimately leave you feeling empty inside. The kids are your responsibility from conception until natural death.

Notice how I said from conception. It is important to know that your rights end where mine begin. Well the unborn baby has rights too. They might not have entered the world, but they are living beings. They have heartbeats. The fetus is still our responsibility as parents. Intentionally ending their life or any life is wrong. Abortion is wrong. Your future and your happiness are not a means to end that life. Ending that life will make you feel a whole lot worse than you do currently. While the baby will bring you joy. The decision to end an innocent person's life is not a burden you want to carry and not a choice any person should ever want to make.

To go further, most of us would rather spend time with our families and could find something more enjoyable than work. I quite like my job, but it doesn't compare to family time for me. However, none of us can just skip work everyday in order to chase our happiness of being with family all day or doing other things that will make us happier. We have to have responsibility. We have to pay the bills. We have to do what is right which isn't always what will make us happiest.

Now, we should still aim to be happy. You cannot go through life feeling miserable and alone. Every person has the right to be happy. I do not disagree. My argument is that your happiness should not come at the expense of someone else. Your happiness needs to come from finding a job you are passionate in and being a great person along the way. Being a Godly person. Everything in this world is fleeting and you will only want more and more. By that I mean that everything on Earth is finite, so it is difficult to put everything into finite things. The only thing that is infinite is God. You have to give it up to God for true eternal happiness.

So, I will never say "do what makes you happy" if someone asks me for advice. Instead, I will say, find some line of work that you can do and live comfortable on, treat others the way you want to be treated, and try to be the best at everything you do. I also aim to be a positive example of God's love and tell people about God when they seek it out of me. Hopefully, others will know I am Christian by how I act and conduct myself and more and more people will come into the church to seek that eternal happiness. "For they will know we are Christians by our love." Love others, trust God, respect life, respect law, and then you will be happy. Don't just blindly chase happiness, because what you want isn't always what you need.

-Noland